Would you rather be scared or be bad?

What would you rather be?

Me? I’d rather be bad, real bad.

Why?

Well, because being scared sucks, that’s why. Do you enjoy being scared?

Oh! So you’re saying you can be good and fearless?

I’m not sure about that. When you’re good you tend to give second chances. You wait for the other dog to bite first. You hope the other dog won’t do it. Then he bites first and it’s too late and it’s your fault you got bitten. Why didn’t you bite first? Because you were being good? Or is it that you were being scared?

If you’re bad you bite first to leave things settled from the start. Just in case.

I know my lady’s not gonna like this post. So before she tells me off, I’d like to remind her of an incident that proves she doesn’t think that differently from me. Yes, mi amiga, like it or not, you know I’m right.

So we’re coming back from our morning walk. I’m in my cart. Boboni’s on the leash. We run into this bozo and his curly-haired dog, so curly it’s like he’s wearing a stupid coat of pompoms. Pompon is off the leash. Pompom trots towards us. He’s tall enough to start sniffing me up. There’s too much sniffing going on. I love social interaction but don’t occupy my space with your body if you don’t want my jaws to occupy your throat.

He’s insistently too close. I’m alert.

My Lady, knowing that I don’t fool around, kindly asks Pompom’s owner to leash his dog. Pompom’s owner says: “Is your doggie afraid? Don’t worry, mine is very docile, he just wants to play.” He finishes with a reassuring: “It’s ok.” And he stands there, watching with a stupid smile how his dog continues to sniff too close for comfort.

My lady says: “Oh! No, no, no, no, no. He’s not afraid. He’s just a very bad dog. Could you please hold your dog?”

Pompom’s owner walks over. His stupid smile has turned into stupid confusion. He leashes Pompom and walks away. We continue or walk back home. “Sorry, Felipe, that I called you a bad dog.” My lady says to me.

There you have it! True story. Being bad put everything and everyone in the right place. And if pompom’s owner hadn’t leashed his pompom I would’ve attacked.