It’s groovy that everything in your world has a name. If I call out “ham” there’s no doubt as to what I want (it doesn’t mean I always get it though).

There are certain things worth having a name such as cheese, chicken, pizza, walk, ball, lizard… Those are practical words that any city dog should know. There’s also a favorite of mine: IDIOT

Crucial word! I mean, if you get confused between ham and chicken, no big deal. Now getting confused between an idiot and something else may be risky.

Identify your idiots and you’ll save yourself a whole lotta trouble. Particularly when it comes to apologizing.

My lady says that I can’t go around calling everybody idiots. And I don’t. Only when I see an idiot do I call them an idiot. You know, making proper use of the vocabulary I know. She should be proud. Anyhow, she says I should apologize.

But I DO NOT apologize to idiots.

One day I got into a scuffle with another dog. Some curly haired mutt. Bigger than me. Not stronger than me. They couldn’t break us apart. Only after I had made my point did I let him go. (No one jumps on me.) He walked away towards his owner with his tail between his legs.

My lady apologized to the mutt’s owner and she gave him her phone number. To be in touch. In case something went wrong with the mutt. (I had bitten harder.)

Days later the mutt’s owner called my lady saying that he was going to sue us because his dog was having psychological issues after the incident. He would be affected for life and therapy was required to avoid long-term damage to his useless brain.

A lawyer friend of my lady’s said that she should have never given away her phone number, (I could’ve told her that.) because it was the same as admitting guilt. “Both dogs were off the leash, right?” “Yes.” Then you were both wrong. No need to apologize.”

If I apologize, I’m admitting that I’m wrong, and am I?

(The dog jumped on my back first!)

If you apologize to an idiot he’ll take the opportunity to wipe off his guilt and blame you.

Us dogs have various ways of apologizing. Tail between legs is my favourite (to receive, not to give). So submissive! I always assess very carefully who I’m apologizing too. I don’t want to encourage any idiot to use my kindness against me later.

As a matter of fact, I’ve never apologized to another dog.

What’s your experience with apologies? And with idiots? Are there any idiots in your life? Do you like the word idiot as much as I do?